A Play in the Life... of Animal Crossing
#1
Minecraft 

A Play in the Life is my new ongoing series where I play "daily" games and post short updates. I'm not so good at doing daily gaming tasks (see Tomodachi Life) without a social group reminding me to, so I'm hoping that having at least community motivation will get me to do it.

The first installment is Animal Crossing for the Gamecube. I'm hoping to finish the debt in all the mainline AC games (except for New Horizons. Sorry) and write about how the game has changed.

I've already played through the tutorial, but I'm going to be splitting it up into chunks for my sanity so I don't have to write a bunch at once like I did with Tomodachi (which I will get back to).

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#2

The Animal Crossing title screen

Ahh, Animal Crossing. When’s the last time you thought about the original Gamecube game? OK, if you’re on these forums you probably think about it daily. My bad.

K K Slider asks if you’re ready to live on your own.

Animal Crossing is, and has always been, about moving out and being independent. These themes were completely lost on me as a kid, who saw it more like a little demented dollhouse I was playing with.

On the train to my new home, a cat named Rover makes fun of my name, which is just Will.

Rover says “You’re going to Hell?”

CLASSIC public transportation moment: some asshole sits next to you, clocks you as trans, drops a microaggression, and immediately starts trying to proselytize

Stepping out of the train, a monkey announces that we are now arriving at Hell.

Well, whatever. If I’m going to Hell before I die I might as well find a comfortable place to live.

Tom Nook, a raccoon, says that he has a house I can move into right away.

I’ve already got a house AND a fat bitch! Life CAN be dream!

I walk up to the house and go inside.

It looks like a dirty basement and it is the size of a walk-in closet.

hmm i think i am going to be murdered in here perhaps

Tom Nook makes fun of me and laughs at me for being short.

THE TRANSPHOBIA CONTINUES

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#3

Making Money


Tom Nook is mad at me for showing up late.

I am expected to do manual labor for the fat rat if I want to own my house.

This is something I find a little funny about the progression of Animal Crossing as a franchise. They’ve taken a lot of steps over the years to make Tom Nook seem like a much nicer guy, enough so that even I had some rose-colored glasses about his behavior in the first game. I didn’t recall that the tutorial is actually him forcibly employing you!

Since I don’t have a choice in the matter, let’s try to get this over with as quickly as possible. As soon as I started the game, I grabbed as much fruit as I could, preparing for the time-honored tradition of selling all the fruit in my village for pocket change.

There’s just one problem…

Tom Nook informs me that my pockets are full.

My inventory is already completely full of oranges.

Ugh. Fine.

I drop 4 oranges into the nearby town dump.

Tom Nook says I will have to change into the company work uniform.

Tom Nook informs me, again, that my pockets are full.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

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#4

Making Friends


Now that I’ve completely emptied my pockets of oranges, Tom Nook wants me to do chores for him. While he thinks of what he’ll get me to do next, he’s sending me off to greet everyone in town. Sure, why not?

First off, I have 3 neighbors crammed into one acre, and they’re all weirdos.

Meeting Tom the cat, who is already mad at me.

Tom already hates me…

Pinky the bear is trying to calm me down from a panic attack.

Pinky thinks I’m a weirdo too…

Quetzal the bird greets me and then screams.

And Quetzal, the dubiously Native American-inspired bird who has never reappeared since the GameCube era for reasons I think I can guess, has the charming catchphrase of screaming bloody murder at the end of each sentence.

This lovely trio is right next to my house, so I better get used to them.

Amelia, a red gothic eagle

Next up, I have Amelia,

Nate, an orange bear

Nate,

Maple, a brown bear

and Maple.

That’s my starting spread! I actually am already quite fond of these fellows. I’m a little annoyed by the biodiversity, I wish I didn’t have two eagles and three bears, but they’re all cute and having Tom is fun. Also, holy shit I forgot how deep the cranky villager voice in this game is.

Tom Nook asks me to deliver furniture to Tom not-Nook, which I do, and I get a “Spaceman Sam” furniture item in return. Awesome!

Nook also asks me to write a letter to Nate, which I think I’ve done a bang-up job at:

The letter reads, in all capital letters: To Nate, I am being held hostage by Raccoon Man. Send nudes. From Will.

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#5

i hate that i got confirmationn that our system connection is back via krowling saying in thee back of my mind re: tom: "step outta the way gayboy im about to get it"

in all seriousness we've never actually played GC animal crossing! our first was WW and we've never given the first a go. looking forward to seeing all of its quirks, esp because of everyone talking about how villagers are TOTAL dicks in this game

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#6

Making Memories


Nate offers to show his creepy letter to other people

Yeahhh, I don’t think I want you showing anyone that letter. I think it would be really nice if you didn’t do that.

Tom Nook asks me to do more work for him

Tom Nook wants me to advertise on the bulletin board in front of my house. Inspiration strikes. I know just the glowing advertisement to give him!

My advertisement, in all caps and surrounded by cute symbols: Come to Fat Fuck’s Stupid House! For all the fat fuckery you could dream of!

Tom Nook asks if I wrote a good ad.

Yup, that’s good. That’s really good. I don’t think anyone’s gonna be forgetting that one any time soon.

Tom Nook says he’s all out of work for me.

I did it! My character celebrates.

And that’s it! I finished the tutorial! Now the great big wild world is truly my Boyster, and I’m going to spend my free time the way you’ve been waiting for: decorating my house with the shitty free furniture I’ve gotten from my neighbors.

My house is just awful.

Here it is: an Amongus, a tumbleweed, and some slightly more hospitable flooring.

The first day that I finally moved into my own apartment, I had no furniture except for what I could carry in a single U-Haul. As such, my first independent meal was takeout pizza eaten voraciously off of a plastic picnic table. It was shit and I was miserable, but it was home.

Animal Crossing has taught me a new thing to tell my self-care app I’m grateful for: at least I had more furniture than an Amongus and a tumbleweed.

Tom the cat tells me he’s saving my save data.

Goodnight, Tom. Thanks for storing the record of all known existence for me.

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#7

(One of those images was broken but it's fixed now shh)

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#8

Okay I really want that giant shitty Amongus now.

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#9

I've also never played the game cube game but was incredibly enamored with animal crossing ever since I got wild world.

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#10

wait

Me standing emotionless in my bedroom.

... what?

Me remembering Tom Nook saying that if I don't pay off my debt, he'll send in the Raccoon Goons

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