Tomodachi Purgatory

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All your favorite characters have died in a tragic unspecified accident and now they’ve gone to some sort of sick and twisted Hell where heterosexuality is mandatory and their heads are really big.

Welcome…

to Tomodachi Purgatory.

[brilokuloj]

Our Cast

Shokalians

Eggle is our humble lookalike, our prison warden in this nightmare institute. Eggle has done nothing wrong… as far as we know…

King St. Bee, prone to histrionics as ever, has made herself the true protagonist of this story.

Princess Bluebird went to Hell because of that time he shoplifted earrings from the Claire's in the mall he works at.

Squissica went to Hell because she was always too sad.

Glubby is just here because King St. Bee is here.

Fast Guy was killed by King St. Bee in a tragic Disneyworld accident. Here in Hell he’s free to run around as much as he wants to.

Salmiac and Pants are best friends.

Pants and Salmiac are best friends.

Kin St. Bee must not be acknowledged.

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(Twitch.)TV Stars

Crunchmaster finally moved out of his basement and started doing things other than playing video games for literal children! Hard to say if it’s working out for him, though, because he did get a parasitic brain infection for a few months.

iCrunch is fine with this because he’s had more screentime on Tomodachi Life than actually playing Macintosh games.

Once upon a time, a pony had a birthday. That birthday pony went over the rainbow, and this is where she found herself.

Funny Fruit, the fruit from Tomba! 2 that makes you laugh uncontrollably if you eat it, has somehow become a person and gone to Hell.

The Normal Fruit that makes you normal is also here.

The Woman hasn’t managed to get her Sprite sponsorship back since Sprite doesn’t seem to exist in Hell, but at least she can play all the Roblox she wants.

Peanuts still misses the Mojave, but living in a room that’s literally a desert seems to be working out for him.

Guy

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The Locals

Evil Fungus Girl (also known as Epic Fucking Girl) was the first inhabitant of the island, even before the Shokalians showed up. She’s still bitter about it. For a while, she dated Crunchmaster, though we’re still not sure if this was actually a fungal infection.

Spinball’s default state is abject misery and torment. What’s up with her?

We thought Krim was an ordinary grandma who was merely burdened with a name generated from a Fantasy Name Generator that Eggle found on Google, but she might be a vampire, because she keeps asking for “new blood” on the island.

Dialface is a cryptid – perhaps even a Shokalian? She makes everyone profoundly uncomfortable.

Not to be confused with The Grinch.

What the fuck, man.

Blood Guy was the first blood person created from Krim’s wishes.

Blood Girl is the second blood person and hopefully there will no longer be any blood people because they are disgusting

I… literally don’t remember what the fuck this guy’s deal is. Sorry.

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The Catboys

The island has been overrun by an inexplicable catboy infestation. Not to be confused with the real actual animals that have their own apartments.

After whatever the fuck happened to him in Twin Peaks, Dale Cooper now lives peacefully as a catboy. He was a gnome for a while.

Better Call

Best friends with Saul for some reason.

Living in a literal hole full of literal garbage!

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Animals from Real Life

Dunkin is a real cat who lives in our house.

Starbuck is a real cat who lives in our house.

National Dog Show winner of 2022.

National Dog Show winner of 2023.

I’m very piendish

Also Guest Starring…

[brilokuloj]

Somewhere in the world, a Billy digs his Totally Legal 3DS out and takes a look…

After seeing the worst glitch I’ve ever seen in my life…

Ahh, it’s like old times!

What’s everyone up to?

Hey, it’s news from Krim!

Stretchy-Face Challenge
Fast Guy took part in a wacky new Island Challenge event.
The How-Far-Can-You-Stretch-Your-Face Competition ended with fewer injuries than expected.

oh jesus fucking christ

Fast Guy took up the challenge despite the concerns of onlookers.
He had a strong start and came close to breaking a world record.
Unfortunately, he was one inch short, and the challenge ended in failure.
Face stretching is highly dangerous, so please don't try this at home.

We asked some islanders for their thoughts on the matter.

I was almost interested in that.

You should have come to me about this first. I have the inside scoop!

Thanks for watching!

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“I don’t get paid enough to see this shit,” Eggle catches themself thinking.

iCrunch is rolling on the floor in romantic agony, as you do.

I’m not sure what to do… I have feelings for FUNNY. I’ve got to tell her!

“Dude, isn’t she already in a relationship? You KNOW polyamory is illegal here.”

iCrunch: I see… I suspected as much.

“This isn’t my problem, I’m way too busy for this,” Eggle asserts, and walks away to make the long-requested ‘QR Code’ clones of the islanders that can be sent all across the internet.

Not their best idea to date.