Project: Nariko Greenhouse

[brilokuloj]

Not too far off from the bank, that patch of random crops has been taking shape. What could be happening here?

---

I have, in fact, been working on this. The only problem is that I need glass. I need a whole large chest worth of glass blocks.

So I need to smelt sand. In order to smelt sand I need to clear out lava so that digging up the sand at the bottom of the world does not kill me. And smelting cobblestone has been wearing my pick down to a nub and I'm running out of diamond. So I've been scooping lava to roast potatoes. And now I have a lot of roast potatoes. You don't even want to see how many roast potatoes I have. And still not enough sand to make glass.

help

[cheet]

OH i saw you talking abt this ingame earlier and i thought you said grass blocks. i could probably contribute a good chunk of glass

[brilokuloj]

Hey, remember how I said that I would need to clear out the lava in order to get more sand?

The Copper Penis Incident

It all began innocently at 8 AM.

ok my evil plan (scoop all the lava) is workinggggg

And simple.

on 1 hand my lava scooping machine is amazing
and hand crank for the press is just fine because i have 1728 baked potatoes

really starting to understand what little king john was on about

But things turned dark.

have to make more fluid tank .

Will you are developing Minecraft Madness

In order to dig more sand, I had to clear out more lava, which meant I had to make more fluid tanks (the copper block holding the lava). But at this point, I had already forgotten the sand mission. I was just picking up random lava around my workstation, excited to finally have a way to clean up the quarry.

this might be a lot of lava

me when i have a normal amount of lava

I began to realize this would become an issue.

I took a nap, hoping this would stave off the madness.

---

I got back up and immediately got back to it.

i wondered what the first Hoarding Issue would be on this server but i had no way to predict it would be a lava silo

you might need to understand for context that 1 block of the fluid tank holds 8 buckets worth. that is a lot more lava than it looks like
i think we are currently at 144 buckets of lava

Can you see that I've begun digging out the floor beneath it? I started this project in the ruins of a skeleton dungeon that I cleared out, but the quarry actually goes downward from there. Building it higher would be inane. So there, I at least had a reasonable limit for myself: from Y 1 to Y 16.

But that's still a lot of lava.

Collie pointed out that at this point it looked like an American healthcare streamer donation bar.

oh god

the bad news about this is that this was the planned height of my quarry so if i want more lava i have to make a second lava penis

Unfortunately, this phrasing was the key to distract people from the grievous crimes I was committing on our beautiful Christian server.

they are goingto name syndrome afer me

DISEASE syndrome: When there is BAD

LAVA syndrome
when BRASS PENIS

rézfaszú bagoly

We all rushed to google this phrase and learned that there is a Hungarian bogeyman literally called the Copperpenis Owl.

GREAT!

Meanwhile, my copper penis continues to fill...

the terrible terrible tension

i hope you know how terrifying this saga is

yeah i
this wasnt right. none of this was right

... and reaches completion...

... right as somebody logs on to ask about it.

Collie links this in response:

Andersen may never have had sex, but he masturbated a lot, and whenever he did he recorded it in his diary with a ++. He was very frank in his diary about how much he masturbated and some entries just read “penis tender,” “penis hurts,” “penis sick,” “penis very bad.”

---

TIME FOR THE FINAL MATH!

15 tiers
x 9 Fluid Tank blocks per tier
x 8 buckets per Fluid Tank
= 1,080 lava

Of course people wanted to know how many items that would smelt, too. That would smelt 108,000 items.

hey man how much can you cook with that penis o yours

---

At midnight, I revealed the punchline.

Spoiler

I still don't have enough glass blocks.

[collieopter]

i hope random strangers come across this by chance years from now

[brilokuloj]

AGAINST ALL ODDS.

IT IS DONE.

Kind of.

come the fuck on man get down from there

Only thing left is lighting. Other than that, it's open to use, and probably safe to idle in as long as no one leaves the door open. Enjoy!! Thanks so much to Cheet for the generous donation of over a chest's worth of glass!

The lava tank is bigger now by the way